i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
