Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
