Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
