omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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