What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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