I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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