that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize