Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
