Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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