I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
