I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
