I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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