So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
