we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
