So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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