Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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