In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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