new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
