He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Its about making memories worth repressing
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
