I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
