please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
