marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
