I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
