I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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