All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
