did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
