This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
she looked like the before picture.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
