I just threw up on my dentist
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
