you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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