New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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