So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
