thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
