can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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