we'll go far in life on tits alone.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
