You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
