I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
