Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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