I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
