True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
