the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
