Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
