Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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