My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
it glows. i had to have it.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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