dude i'm inner monologue high
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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