Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
