Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
