We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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