I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
he fucked my hip out of place.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
