Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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