I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
