why didn't you poke me back
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
